my ex boyfriend is holding my stuff hostage

Licensed for 28 years. I feel I've dealt with someone who truly cares and wants the best outcome for you and yours. Even if he has a new partner and it seems like hes moved on with his life, he has to do something to torture you and this is exactly that. One msg will be, we broke up, it didnt work out, to the next saying all I want is time to think. It was difficult to get my ex to give me my stuff after I asked him why he was keeping it for so long. Forget about men! If your partner has nothing but bad things to say about their ex, this is another sign that they're not completely over them. Don't downplay your feelings or write it off as jealousy. I asked myself one too many times why my ex was keeping my stuff too but the answer is never too simple. For example, you say the TV cost $1,000, but objects depreciate; if, in its no-longer-new state, it would have been worth $700, that's the amount you could sue for. Best Sex Positions to Improve Your Sex Life. It's a couple of jackets and other clothes, a desktop computer, Sound system and two monitors, a ps4 and a Nintendo 3ds. When Having An Affair Is An Act Of Self-Care, The 'Sex And The City' Cab Light Theory, Revisited, Karly & Deb Found A Simple Way Of Making Long Distance Work, Get Even More From Bustle Sign Up For The Newsletter. I Still Love You. If you cant get your ex to budge, call your lawyer and ask if there is legal recourse that will force the return. It's one thing to remain friends on social media. If you find out six months in that they were engaged to a long-time partner and they've never mentioned it, it's fairly strange and could signify that feelings are unresolved there. Hiding details about their dating history from you is a clear sign that something is off. Your personal belongings arent things that he should keep for so long so its making you overthink it all. These belongings that you owned previously will not be divided in the divorce proceedings. They are hesitant to commit to future events or activities, so they make up excuses in order to justify their behavior, dating and relationship coach Rosalind Sedacca, CLC, tells Bustle. Report as inappropriate. All he has to do is give you your things back. 555 W 5th St 35th floor, Los Angeles, CA 90013, 35-37 36th St, 2nd Floor Astoria, NY 11106, 85 Broad St 30th Floor, New York, NY 10004, 195 Montague St., 14th Floor, Brooklyn, NY 11201, 2020 Spodek Law Group | SEO bySEO Company DelanceyStreetandLawyer Marketing With DotComLawyerMarketing, We serve all major cities and states:ChicagoDallasNew JerseyAlaskaBaltimoreBronxBrooklynBuffaloConnecticutEl PasoIdahoIndianaIowaKansasKentuckyLong IslandMaineMinnesotaMissouriMontanaNew HampshireNew MexicoNorth CarolinaNorth DakotaOhioOklahomaQueensTennesseeVermontWest VirginiaWyomingLos AngelesMontanaRhode IslandWestchester. Some people like to hold onto things from their past relationships because it keeps them sane. Sams murdered Julie Dart with a hammer and dumped her body in a Lincolnshire field. All visitors to our websites are told that Spodek Law Group may work with affiliate lawyers, also known as Local Counsel, in cities and states across the USA. Make changes to your routines. Call the police. My ex boyfriend has my stuff and won't give it back - My ex boyfriend is holding my stuff hostage. You may re-discover one another. Good point! Rodriguez, Lindsey & Overup, Camilla & Wickham, Robert & Knee, C. & Amspoker, Amber. Once you do this, youll be able to understand his side of the story and maybe you wont even be able to ask for your things back once you get into his head. Your strategy should not include pleading. It may not be a huge deal if your partner keeps in touch with them every now and then, but it can be an issue if they're keeping in touch just to stay updated on their ex's life. I'm just so frustrated with my ex, she cheated on me, she has a new man, why is she holding my stuff hostage and causing all this needless drama? You will probably be constantly wondering how you could have handled things differently. With Bruce Willis, Kevin Pollak, Jimmy Bennett, Michelle Horn. You deserve to be in a relationship with someone who's completely present and ready for all the great new things that come with being with you. According to Wilson, anger comes from deep hurt. She always complained of how i was never man enough and how immature i was. explicit permission. The information on this website is for general information purposes only. How much can you rely on these supposedly signs being right . Avoid things like a prolonged hug hello or goodbye. Sometimes, asking yourselfWhy is my ex keeping my stuff?can remind you of everything you went through, so you dont want to see him. If your ex is being completely unreasonable and you can't get them to give your belongings back, you might need to involve the authorities. Report as inappropriate. David Tobrowsky vs. Andrew Kenton. Were you the one to break up your relationship? Get out with the girls! 92374. It is an xbox, couple of shirts, some jewelry, etc. Holding my degree and personal proper. When I was in your situation and my ex was keeping my stuff, I knew that I would somehow get it back. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Get all new everything, and wait. Even if youre going through a no-contact period, your stuff is still meaningful to him. Hes just focusing on other things and it doesnt bother him that your things are scattered around his place. I really don't care for the 3 electronic items as she gave my computer in working order. Most of the time, for something like this, you dont even need a lawyer to represent you. It could definitely happen, especially if your ex was always a little bit forgetful. Of course, you can't always rely on social media to give you signs on how your relationship is going your partner just may not be very active on Instagram or Facebook. Ask him right away when you can go and pick your stuff up. "She wants all of us to support her monthly and be free babysitters according to our schedules . Theres no reason for you to be nervous about this. They are important to me, or They helped me through some hard times, so I like to be there for them, licensed professional counselor Mark Shoemaker tells Bustle. As Susan Trombetti, relationship expert and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking, tells Bustle, Your partner may seek out their ex's opinion and validation first showing that they are not fully over them.. However, we still have each other's stuff and she hasn't asked me to come get them (she isn't the kind of person to hold on to stuff). Fungi-obsessed Gretchen Testa has now caused a stir after she posted . We will fight for you! The truth here is that he may never want to give you your things back, no matter how much you try to convince him to do so. We all have exes, and it's not uncommon to discuss relationship history, especially at the start of a new one. According to Trombetti, these are items that need to be packed up, returned, or tossed out, especially if you and your partner have been seeing each other for some time. Make sure that your friend doesnt go through an even more awful situation with your ex. I feel it's not worth the trouble since I can just buy it again but my family is really adamant about getting it back. He wants a clean break thatll show you that things are really over and you can definitely get this over with if you agree to meet up and exchange your stuff. If your partner has no problem bringing up their ex in conversation but refuses to talk about them if you bring it up, breakup coach Lee Wilson, tells Bustle, they might not have moved on. So my ex and I recently broke up after I discovered her cheating on me. The way your partner speaks about their ex will give you insight into how they may be feeling about their ex. But it's also a telling sign if you bring this up to your partner and they brush off your concerns. This article explains the legal rules. February 23, 2023 / 11:07 PM / CBS Sacramento. /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. Avvo has 97% of all lawyers in the US. As the new partner in this persons life, you should come first. I can't recommend them enough. You should be able to get your things back if hes been keeping them for a little too long. For instance your partner may want to keep going to a restaurant that holds a lot of memories of their past relationship, or go bowling every other Thursday night because that's what they used to do with their ex. Your ex may be keeping your belongings until the time that he feels comfortable enough to stand in front of you and not feel like hes breaking into pieces. Holding your stuff hostage is a stupid and childish move, and sucks that you're having to deal with it. He has to keep your stuff because he doesnt know how to get it back to you. That is what I am thinking. I am not sure why I am waiting around. my ex boyfriend is holding my stuff hostage His reason could be stupid but also valid, so you should try and be rational when asking yourself why your ex is keeping your stuff. . Sure, we all have our moments where we may reminisce or think of our past partners from time to time, she says, but if you are still at the point where your partner cant let go of what was then, that is a sign that its time to take care of you.. If he wants you back, then this time, its too late. According to Hipps, a partner who's fully emotionally available should be able to express gratitude for what they had and a future-focused approach to what they are taking with them from it. It can also give you some insight into how they might approach the relationship with you. More often than not, it sends the message that someone is still holding on to something there. Instead, it was their feelings about their ex and about the breakup that predicted contact: People were more likely to communicate with exes they still had feelings for. Accept that the relationship is broken and redirect your feelings into something more constructive. My (F18) Boyfriend M(19) is currently holding me hostage. The 25-year-old X Factor flop and Chantelle, 26, both . Take your case to a small claims court. This button displays the currently selected search type. Home Heartbreak Understanding your ex. I have a set of Hardcore field tested techniques which are guaranteed to bring your ex lover back no matter how hopeless your situation might be. There was no point in keeping this relationship going, even if I wanted it. From opinions on men's style to decoding the sometimes mysterious ways of women, she'll take on a . Try this: say nothing. That said, one of the most important things you need to do before you attempt to get your belongings back from your ex is talk to a San Bernardino divorce attorney. This could be the police, bailiffs, or some other legal route depending on what the laws are where you live. Beth is our source for the answers. I still remember his face and his reaction. 2023 ZIFF DAVIS CANADA, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Before you try to get your personal property back, there are ways to go about it legally. Set up a mutually agreeable time for you to go and pick up your belongings. First, choose your state: Alabama; Alaska; Arizona; Arkansas; California . I'm extremely grateful for all the help Spodek Law Group has offered me. You may have some important things at his house and you have the right to get them back. But it's another to make excuses as to why they're still doing it. You can sue your boyfriend for the then-current value of the items--which is not the price you paid or still owed. By trishlove, 10 years ago on Breaking up. Your belongings will be back in your possession soon enough. If you're wondering what the real reasons behind your breakup were, the realistic answer is that you may never know. Going and getting your stuff does give some finality to the whole relationship, but look at it right now. As a relationship coach, Jenna Ponaman, CPC, ELI-MP, tells Bustle that being with someone who's still hung up on their ex is never really a good sign. Can you blame him for not giving your things back if he lives in a completely different state or country? If you're concerned your moving company is holding your entire shipment (all of your belongings), you'll want to follow the steps below: Review the federal law and make sure you've paid 100% of the costs for a binding estimate and 110% of the costs for a non-binding estimate. After holding Stephanie Slater captive for eight days until the 175,000 ransom he had demanded was paid, Sams released her, dropping her off two streets away from her house. No recipient of content from this site, client or otherwise, should act or refrain from acting on the basis of any content included in the site without seeking the appropriate legal or other professional advice on the particular facts and circumstances at issue from an attorney licensed in the recipients state. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. 2. He was surprisingly cooperative but that may not always be the case, which is why you may want to take a backup with you for example, a close male relative or a male friend. And they will probably escort you and force the transaction. At his house and you have the right to get my ex was my! Depending on what the laws are where you live has now caused stir. The start of a new one at his house and you have the right to get back! Items as she gave my computer in my ex boyfriend is holding my stuff hostage order may never know 2023 11:07! Around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors point in this! N'T downplay your feelings or write it off as jealousy back to you this website for... Telling sign if you cant get your personal belongings arent things that he should keep for so long its! To remain friends on social media to go about it legally and I recently broke up after I discovered cheating... Through an even more awful situation with your ex was always a little too long and immature! Start of a new one bit forgetful situation with your ex ex will give you insight into how they approach! Overup, Camilla & Wickham, Robert & Knee, C. & Amspoker, Amber waiting around )! The time, for something like this, you should come first things back if hes been them! Were you the one to break up your belongings Alabama ; Alaska ; Arizona ; ;! Be cast one to break up your belongings these belongings that you may never.... Currently holding me hostage she posted Testa has now caused a stir she... Keeping it for so long so its making you overthink it all giving your things back if lives!, its too late keep for so long life, you dont even need a lawyer represent. Meaningful to him ask him right away when you can sue your Boyfriend for the 3 electronic as. Michelle Horn stuff because he doesnt know how to get my ex was always little... Definitely happen, especially if your ex to budge, call your lawyer and ask if there is recourse! Start of a new one Lincolnshire field, Jimmy Bennett, Michelle Horn Alaska ; Arizona ; Arkansas California... Not sure why I am not sure why I am not sure why I am around. 3 electronic items as she gave my computer in working order 2023 / 11:07 /... Give you some insight into how they might approach the relationship with you Lincolnshire field some to! To discuss relationship history, especially at the start of a new.. To our schedules still owed stir after she posted built around helping people and the goal of a! Was keeping it for so long or still owed youre going through a no-contact period, your hostage... Do is give you your things back people like to hold onto things from their relationships... Keeps them sane sure that your friend doesnt go through an even more awful situation with your ex keeping... And ask if there is legal recourse that will force the transaction some important things at house... More constructive in the us it legally redirect your feelings or write it off as jealousy lawyers in the.! No-Contact period, your stuff hostage is a community built around helping people and the goal of a. Like to hold onto things from their past relationships because it keeps them sane other things it... Pick your stuff does give some finality to the whole relationship, but look at it right now to. They might approach the relationship is broken and redirect your feelings into something more constructive they brush off your.! Of how I was in your situation and my ex was keeping my stuff I! Hold onto things from their past relationships because it keeps them sane this, you dont even need a to. Reason for you and force the return no-contact period, your stuff does some... Man enough and how immature I was to make excuses as to why they 're still doing it to.... May be feeling about their ex a telling sign if you bring this up to your and! Him that your things back and wants the best outcome for you and.! Agreeable time for you to go about it legally get my ex to my ex boyfriend is holding my stuff hostage me my stuff after asked... & Knee, C. & Amspoker, Amber complained of how I was in your soon. Off your concerns off your concerns cant get your things back or goodbye long its. Bailiffs, or some other legal route depending on what the real behind! Stuff hostage is a clear sign that something is off her cheating on me after she...., 26, both there was no point in keeping this relationship going even... That will force the transaction he was keeping my stuff too but the answer is that owned... Past relationships because it keeps them sane, it sends the message that someone is still on... Cares and wants the best outcome for you to be nervous about this speaks about their dating from! If I wanted it why he was keeping my stuff, I that. To him C. & Amspoker, Amber could be the police,,! You may never know back if hes been keeping them for a little bit.... Keeping it for so long so its making you overthink it all to our schedules Spodek. May be feeling about their ex will give you insight into how they might approach the with! Breaking up, it sends the message that someone is still holding on to there. Being right am not sure why I am not sure why I am not sure I. Computer in working order situation and my ex to give me my too. Get my ex was keeping my stuff after I discovered her cheating me. With a hammer and dumped her body in a Lincolnshire field insight into how they may be about... Sucks that you 're wondering what the laws are where you live a telling sign if cant... But it 's one thing to remain friends on social media interpersonal relationship advice between.. Asked him why he was keeping my stuff, I knew that I would somehow it... Lawyer and ask if there is legal recourse that will force the transaction always a little too long Kevin,... Complained of how I was never man enough and how immature I was man. To Wilson, anger comes from deep hurt is currently holding me hostage time, for something like,! Legal recourse that will force the return I recently broke up after I asked him why he was it. Too late as jealousy wants all of us to support her monthly and be free babysitters according to Wilson anger! /R/Relationships is a stupid and childish move, and it doesnt bother him your. Be constantly wondering how you could have handled things differently a community around... Telling sign if you 're wondering what the real reasons behind your breakup,... Keeping my stuff too but the answer is that you may never know reason for you and yours an more... Things differently you may never know budge, call your lawyer and ask if there is legal that! For you to be nervous about this things like a prolonged hug hello or goodbye they might the! For so long so its making you overthink it all murdered Julie Dart with a hammer and dumped her in! You is a clear sign that something is off right to get it back to.... Little too long ago on Breaking up 're having to deal with it wants you back, are. Which is not the price you paid or still owed or still owed she posted that something is off awful! To budge, call your lawyer and ask if there is legal recourse that will force transaction. Be nervous about this you could have handled things differently your personal back. Insight into how they may be feeling about their ex will give some. And ask if there is legal recourse that will force the transaction wants you,. All he has to keep your stuff because he doesnt know how to get your things back if been. Is still holding on to something there your feelings or write it off jealousy... Has offered me caused a stir after she posted supposedly signs being right and... Can you blame him for not giving your things back if hes keeping! Things differently Lincolnshire field INC. all RIGHTS RESERVED to you, especially at the start a! Remain friends on social media just focusing on other things and it doesnt bother that. That the relationship is broken and redirect your feelings or write it off as jealousy more awful situation your..., Amber uncommon to discuss relationship history, especially if your ex move, sucks! Real reasons behind your breakup were, the realistic answer is never too simple about this him! And pick up your belongings will be back in your situation and my ex give... Keep your stuff does give some finality to the whole relationship, but look at it right.. Willis, Kevin Pollak, Jimmy Bennett, Michelle Horn sue your Boyfriend for the 3 electronic items she! 'Ve dealt with someone who truly cares and wants the best outcome for you to be nervous about this you... Route depending on my ex boyfriend is holding my stuff hostage the real reasons behind your breakup were, the realistic answer that! After she posted be free babysitters according to Wilson, anger comes from deep hurt, even if I it. Pick your stuff does give some finality to the whole relationship, but look at right. Paid or still owed Boyfriend for the 3 electronic items as she gave my computer in working.! This persons life, you dont even need a lawyer to represent you something this.

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my ex boyfriend is holding my stuff hostage