Tahiti who? Peter Jacobson, 33. All of them. Its to move on. This position should feel sort of unnatural and should permit you to hook the ball without altering your golf swing. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Hey would you like what you're hiding in your tight jeans to be the 34th ranked golfer in the world because I can make that V-jay sing? Golfs a game where you shout, FOUR! and score a seven, while writing down a five. Draw a mental image of where you want it to go and then eliminate everything else from your mind, except how you are going to get the ball into that preferred spot. Sam Snead, 46. SO why does the golfer carry two shirts? Besides that, I love to explore. Youve got to loosen your girdle and really let the ball have it. Babe Didrikson Zaharias, 43. Don't dirt your soul. Rory McIlroy has a GOOD driver! Golf puts a mans character on the anvil and his richest qualitiespatience, poise, restraintto the flame. Billy Casper, 16. 20. We have compiled the best list of pick up lines with references to golf style, golf clubs, golf course, and various famous golf celebrity. Originally posted by raffa nunyez. You may have heard these renowned quotes about funny golf before. J.R. Rim, Till saints and angels hymn forevermore / The miracle of your astounding score / And He who keeps all players in His sight / Walking the royal and ancient hills of light / Standing benignant at the eighteenth hole / To everlasting Golf consigns your soul. It will test your patience. See more ideas about golf quotes, golf, golf humor. I told my coach I got a new set of clubs for my wife. If you dont take it seriously, its no fun, if you do, it breaks your heart. A dirty joke is a joke that is usually considered inappropriate because of its indecent punchline. The friend is quite amazed: That dog is really talented! 47 Hilarious Quotes About Driving. John shouts back in a nervous voice, Throw me my 8-iron! Again the announcement: Would the man on the womens tee kindly back up the mens tee!, Mike had had enough and shouted: Would the horses ass in the clubhouse with the loud speaker kindly shut up and let me play my damn second shot!. The man has a little dog with him and on the first green, when the man holes out a 20 foot putt. I'm hoping to be a sore loser." Related: Best Ways On How To Flirt With A Guy Over Text? You're more beautiful than a hundred pink flamingos on a golf course. Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated; it satisfies the soul and frustrates the intellect. To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. He's the one getting his balls cleaned. In golf as in life, it is the follow through that makes the difference. Anonymous, 34. Because it would interrupt their tea time. You grind it out. Tiger Woods, 54. It is free and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive! Success depends almost entirely on how effectively you learn to manage the games two ultimate adversaries: the course and yourself. Jack Nicklaus, 45. Your email address will not be published. "Golf is the perfect thing to do on a Sunday because you spend more time praying on the course than if you went to church." brockoli117 on Reddit.com. All the fans are gone! Palmer, how do you make a 3 iron back up like that?, Mr. Palmer replied, Do you own a 3 iron?. You okay with that? Funny and dirty medical pick-up lines and doctor hook-up lines. In the Golf of Mexico! What's the difference between a golfball and a Nissan? If we weren't, we'd take up a less infuriating hobby, like knitting. Fore-get Me Nots. Missed the ball and sank the divot. "It's good to see there is still some respect in the world." "Well, it's only right," the first golfer replies. Ellis Parker Butler, When we watch pro golfers, we expect them to play well, to make the shots we know we cant, and to be entertaining. I was off to-day! 63 Archery Pick Up Lines for Bows & Arrows, 23 Table Tennis / Ping Pong Pick Up Lines, 79 Marching Band and Color Guard Pick Up Lines. Boo. David Brenner, For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball. About 160 yards was his reply. And that thought is: Dont think. Golf is such an individual game, and no two people swing alike. Kathy Whitworth, 14. And maybe that same element inspires the poets, writers and artists to pay homage to golfor at least lament its cruelty. I prayed that I would react well if I missed. Chi Chi Rodriguez, 44. 4. "If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.". Billy Graham, Show me a man who is a good loser and Ill show you a man who is playing golf with his boss. Its good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. Mark Twain, the famous wordsmith who also said golf is a good walk spoiled. Whos there? In case he gets a hole in one. The worst day of mini golf beats the best day of work. Steve Bann, It is surely quite superfluous to mention / To a person who has been here half an hour / That Golf is what engrosses the attention / Of the people, with an all-absorbing power. They are the two things you can thoroughly enjoy even though you are really bad at them. I'm pretty good with my short putts. Mickey Mantle, Competitive golf is played mainly on a five-and-a-half-inch course the space between your ears. What do you call a lion playing golf? 3. If you think its hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. Jack Lemmon, a true comedian on and off the course. Keep your sense of humor. However, every person playing the game has the basis of good mental skills for golf. Gerald Ford, If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. He went up to her, talked to her, and convinced her to come back to his hotel room for the night. Have fun. But dont take it from us, check out the funny golf quotes below and enjoy a laugh or two. Ive got some real trouble down here., Don comes running over to the edge of the ravine and calls out: Whats the matter, John? Oh you only have a threesome, mind if I join? And maybe thats why the highs were so high and the lows felt so low. Knock, knock They call it golf because all the other four letter words were taken. Raymond Floyd. I tell it that this isnt going to hurt a bit. Make your partner smile with these adult golf jokes. The end. Their expectation, however, is very different. Your email address will not be published. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. No other game combines the wonder of nature with the discipline of sport in such carefully planned ways. Youngman is credited with inventing the "Take my wifeplease" trope. Lorii Myers, Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an ever smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose. After 18 holes, I can barely walk. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, Its golf balls., The blond looked at him compassionately and said: Oh you poor thing. She lined the ball up carefully and confidently stroked the winning putt. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows. They like cricket better. My three keys to success: One, work hard. Whats the difference between golf and sex? Knock, knock Wodehouse, Golf is Not a great sport. 4. You "Putt" Me In A Great Mood. Here, have a carrot! They call it golf because all the other four letter words were taken. Ray Floyd, 41. Ahole in oneis amazing when you think of the different universes this white mass of molecules has to pass through on its way to the hole. Well have whatever Mac OGrady is smoking. We have a threesome, care to join us? Because you coming back to my hotel is the only fair way for this evening to go. Having Fun since 2020 Jokes Quotes Factory Have a carrot! Lorii Myers, Perhaps more than any other sport, golf focuses pressure on the player. 2. All through the night they made wild love together. Keep your head down. document.getElementById("copyright_year").innerHTML = new Date().getFullYear(); We do our best to represent colors accurately, but viewing screens vary from one to another, and from real life. Please accept the terms of our newsletter. Whos there? 3. Not just in the game, but that can be applied to life, relationships and ones mindset. These words carry the feeling for those you care about and those who care about you. Bruce Lansky, Author. That's why I'm hoping you, Bleacher Report readers, will add some of your own content in the comments. Could you in the moment quiet your thoughts and execute? Many golfing terms sound naughty. Ben Hogan, Give me golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. I bet that hurts a whole lot worse than tennis elbow?. We share them in our weekly newsletter. He sat down next to a beautiful blonde. Ben Hogan, Golf has some drawbacks. He always puts his driver in the wrong bag. Do you share these funny golf jokes? A young man with a few hours to spare one afternoon figures that if he hurries and plays very fast, he can get in nine holes before he has to head home. If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart." - Arthur Daley. Im a friend and all Im going to do is give it a nice little ride. Sam Snead, 35. Enjoy! 21. Your butt reminds me of St Andrews.. Hard and Firm. My drives aren't always long and straight. I hope you can use them for your game and as inspiration. Dont even putt. What is the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball lost in the rough? A guy will spend 10 minutes trying to find his lost golf ball. The worst club in my bag is my brain. Chris Perry, 42. Her husband thought that this was a riot and laughing said, Right train, wrong ticket., The wife failed to see the humor and not cracking a smile replied, No sleeper cars on that train either, Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. no! You can talk about strategy all you want, but what really matters is resiliency. Hale Irwin, 50. A good golfer has the determination to win and the patience to wait for the breaks. Gary Player, 53. Without trust, it feels like you and your golf club are on opposite sides of a tug-of-war. Dr. Joseph Parent, 9. I stepped on a rake. Enjoy the game, enjoy these best golf jokes. Look at the size of his putter. He grabs his 7-iron and proceeds down the embankment into the ravine in search of his ball. In case he got a hole in one! Henny Youngman, Go play golf. Everyday I'm Schauffele. Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if youre not good at them. Roy Tin Cup McAvoy, the greatest that never was. It is at the same time rewarding and maddening and it is without a doubt the greatest game mankind has ever invented. Arnold Palmer, 2. Don Carter Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose. How would you like to do something I won't do for anyone on the PGA tour? A Jew, a Catholic and a Mormon are having drinks at the bar after an interfaith convention. Why not! Although worried this will slow him up, the younger man says, Of course. To his surprise, the old man plays quickly. Say what you want about the other sports, none of them hold a candle to golf when it comes to inspirational and downright funny quotes. A wife walked into the bedroom and found her husband in bed with his golf A hole in one of a kind model. So what's it gonna be today, Stroke Play or Skins? Daphne du Maurier, With many twists and holes life is much like a golf game; without bats, you cannot Play. Required fields are marked *. One of the most fascinating things about golf is how it reflects the cycle of life. And three, have a passion for what youre doing. Juli Inkster, 28. Spread your legs a little more. course sometime. Ana Claudia Antunes, If you think its hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. Sam Snead, Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. Ben Hogan, I dont play golf to feel bad, I play bad golf, but I feel good. All lip, no hole. I like to go low. Golf: A five mile walk punctuated with frequent disappointments. Clubbing. Youre shooting for the green, and yet, in the end you find yourself in the hole. Two rounds a day are plenty. Its just really hard to play. Mulligans are the reason golf balls come three to a sleeve. Trust is one of the most important qualities in the game of golf. Is everything okay?. H. G. Wells, The only sure rule in golf is he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie. 2. He doesnt hit the ball very far, but it goes straight. Share these images with quotes about funny golf with family, friends, mates, colleagues, and all your acquaintances. It can be difficult. Golfing Quotes "Golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a -- Winston Churchill "Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf and you can keep the fresh air and the -- Jack Benny "You can make a lot of money in this game. When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. Obviously I'm a man that loves Gatorade and I'd definitely like to raid your gato. Why are golf and sex so similar? Jay Griffiths, Golf without mistakes is like watching haircuts. Bring some friends, and we can play a foursome. 3. now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); THE MATERIAL ON THIS SITE MAY NOT BE REPRODUCED, DISTRIBUTED, TRANSMITTED, CACHED OR OTHERWISE USED, EXCEPT WITH THE PRIOR WRITTEN PERMISSION OF DISCOVERY GOLF, INC. 2023 DISCOVERY GOLF, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, 15 very funny (and occasionally inappropriate) golf memes, 17 Awful (But Mostly Funny) Golf Fails from 2013, This new Top Flite commercial is sophomoric, inappropriate, and very funny. If there has been one fundamental reason for my success, this is it. Gene Sarazen, 22. I love you and I want you to stay with me., Woman: You dont understandIm a hooker., Man: That is no problem, darlin, you probably just have too strong a grip.. Arnold Palmer is playing in a big tournament and comes to a 235 yard par-3. The great champions have all come back from defeat. Sam Snead. Colleen Ferrary Bader, Behold, my child, this touching scene, the golfer on the golfing-green / Pray mark his legs uncanny swing / The golf-walk is a gruesome thing! How you handle failure determines how successful you will be. Muffet McGraw, 26. Andrew Barton Paterson, A boss once told me, Colleen, its not about the meeting, its about the scotch after the meeting. Being a thoughtful person, and a social being, I find it very amusing to explore people's thoughts, observations, and experiences. 7. Golf: a game where you yell fore, you get six, and you write five. The 18 Best Golf Movies You Need To Watch In 2023, Top 14 Golf Podcasts You Should Listen To (Updated 2023), 7 Left Handed Golf Tips To Crush The Competition, 50 Side-Splitting Golf Puns & Jokes For Any Situation, Practicing Golf At Home: 10 Tricks To Improve Your Game. ~ George Bernard Shaw. Fear comes in two packages fear of failure, and sometimes, fear of success. Tom Kite, 21. Sam Snead. My doctor told me I cant play golf. Oh, when did he play with you?. Dave Barry, If you drink, dont drive. O'Grady's comment relates the essence of the experience of a lot of rounds of golf for a lot of golfers. ), 50 Funny Marketing Jokes That Will Increase Business Sales, 15+ Easy and Funny Animal Riddles for Kids (with answers) 2023, 79 HILARIOUS Holiday Jokes For A Jolly Mood, 49 Jokes about Teachers and Students (that work like Science: Always get a reaction), 27 Ultimately Happy Quotes to Make your Day A-okay! Dirty Golf Sayings. He was puttering around. Mini Golf Captions. Winston S. Churchill, You ought to take more exercise if youre inclined to have a liver. Noah. In a way, this quote is a stand-in for the entire volume of comedic wit and great golf quotes in Caddyshack. the flag cant jump. Who do golfers pay tribute to on the 4th of July? Keep smiling and join us on Social, we'd love to have you over. Although the same can be said of the rest of the items on this list, just reading the quote doesn't really do justice to its comedic value. 1. When they reach the 9th fairway, the young man is facing a tough shot. nay I my child, and eke, oh! After 18 holes I can barely walk. John excitedly calls out to his golfing partner: Hey Don, come here. Well, what can you really say about the great Chi Chi Rodriguez's quote? She makes sure he practices having a stroke first to make sure he's handicapped when he meets a blond working at one. Just in case they get a slice! Relate what your buddy said after a five-putt, the joke your grandfather made about the ballwasher or your golf junkie pal's philosophy about the parallel between golf and life. The battle that raged inside each players head. Full Text: Are you hinting my apples aren't what they ought to be? What does a golfer do on his day off? When hes not on the green, you can find him wishing that he was Fortunately hes happy tojust chat about it here until the next time. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? 2. Golf is a game where the ball lies like crap, but the player lies like a pro. I . People may find dirty jokes shocking or disgusting, but no one can deny they're funny as hell! Whats the difference between a golf ball and a car? A threesome were getting ready to tee off on the 10thwhen they notice a single player, running up the fairway, taking a shot almost immediately to then run up to the green for a 3 putt to put it in. The only sure rule in golf is he who has the fastest golf cart never has to play the bad lie. Mickey Mantle, owner of one of the sweetest swings in baseball, not so much in golf. 23+ Revolutionary Sayings From Corrie Ten Boom | Free Hd Background Pictures Download, 52+ Knowledgeable Sayings On Cosmetologist | Free Hd Background Pictures Download, 43+ Motivating Sayings On Hungry | Free Hd Background Pictures Download, TOP 50 Inspirational Golf Quotes & Sayings | Download Images, 58+ Funny Tennis Quotes | Free Images & Pictures Download, TOP 50 Funny Sports Quotes | HD Images & Pictures Download. How do you know a golfer is cheating on his wife? Hey babycan you suck a golf ball through 50 feet of garden hose? See photos about 15 very funny (and occasionally inappropriate) golf memes from Golf Digest Ive played the game for 50 years and I still havent the slightest idea of how to play. Gary Player, 39. Achieve more with each and every round you play.Go Premium to et full access to our most advanced on-course and improvement features. And, on top of that, the winner buys the drinks. Not sure who said it, but whoever did understands the game, at times, doesnt make much sense. Nothing. You want some dirty golfing jokes, we got them for you. What's worst than Elin Nordegren smashing your face in with a 9 iron? Please sign up with your best email address. How can you tell which golfer is a womanizer? Chip Shot. Golfing is a lot like masturbation. "Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.". Man: "Well, that depends on how hard I kick him in the ass." A man got on a bus with both of his front pant pockets full of golf balls. Toggle Navigation Menu . 7. It takes a lot of balls to play golf knowing youre a bad golfer. Ben Hogan, And theres many neat cottages with gardens very nice / And picturesque villas, which can be rented at a reasonable price / Besides, theres a golf course for those that such a game seeks / Which would prove a great attraction to the knights of clubs and cleeks. I'm still working on my approach, but I think I have a pretty good swing. Jordan is a golf lover and the founder of Cyber Caddie. Tiagra. Ben Hogan, To find a mans true character, play golf with him. Many of them contain words and phrases that are unable to grace this slideshow. Why did the golfer have to change his socks? I'll let you beat me. 75 Funny Knock Knock Jokes 2023 to Make You Laugh. USE OF AND/OR REGISTRATION ON ANY PORTION OF THIS SITE CONSTITUTES ACCEPTANCE OF OURVISITOR AGREEMENT(UPDATED 1/6/23),PRIVACY AND COOKIES NOTICE(UPDATED 1/4/23) ANDCALIFORNIA PRIVACY NOTICE. Because I'm going to come after you aggressively and probably leave a ball mark. Sometimes a good joke can lighten up the mood. "The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.". 5. Two couples were enjoying a competitive, best-ball match wives against husbands with the losers buying lunch and a libation. It can be rewarding. The harder you practice, the luckier you get. Gary Player, 32. Golf is an awkward set of bodily contortions designed to produce a graceful result. Tommy Armour, 40. The difference in golf and government is that in golf you cant improve your lie. George Deukmejian waxing prophetic. The man took a step back from his ball, closed his eyes and said a quick prayer. The formula for success is simple: practice and concentration, then more practice and more concentration. Babe Didrikson Zaharias, 19. / They havent turned up, and I doubt if they will. These are results of some deep thoughts and observations from their lives and are like our lives because we are all human. Funny Golf Quotes You know you're on the Senior Tour when your back goes out more than you do. For more great quotes on life, golf and from books and authors, check out this site and this site. Why did Arnold Palmer get beat up? 20. I'm a bit tired, so can we just play your backside tonight? The 19th hole. After his practice round he noticed a beautiful young woman by the clubhouse. A bad hole wont get you a slap across the face when you play golf. Of all the hazards, fear is the worst. Sam Snead, 27. Clubbing. From the best players to ever pick up a club to past presidents of the United States, the game of golf is the great equalizer. As you walk down the fairway of life, you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round. Ben Hogan, 25. What do golf and sex share in common? "The value of routine; trusting your swing." - Lorii Myers. Your fifth putt. Find the ball. Pick the quote from here which describes your inner thought. Many of these expressions of life, result in taking the form of wishes, quotes, greetings, messages, and captions. Golf?! Knock, knock I give the ball some sweet talk. My shaft is bent. It takes a lot of balls to play golf knowing you're a bad golfer. Weve put together a list of our favorite jokes, golf puns, and one-liners you can bust out on the course, the range, or the pub to try and laugh off that 102 you just shot. We have compiled the best list of pick up lines with references to golf style, golf clubs, golf course, and various famous golf celebrity. You may share any of these heartfelt photos with funny golf quotes without hesitation. A dinner without wine. The means are as important as the ends. She can only show you her dirty secrets in private, only with you. It will dazzle and baffle you with highs and lows, successes and frustrations. Amy Alcott, 18. 3 / 10. P-U-T-T is correct, the instructor replied. I chipped in from the rough! So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? "The reason a pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.". "Golf is the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off." Bruce Lansky 15 of 50 Scott Halleran/Getty Images "On a recent survey, 80 percent of golfers admitted cheating. Jack Benny. -Happy Gilmore. 56 Golf Pick Up Lines Many golfing terms sound naughty. What do you jot down if you dont remember if you hit a 6 or a 7? The most redundant thing on a golf course is a ball-washer on a hole with water hazards. The three tried & true methods of improving your game are: practice, study the pros, and cheat your ass off. Youre too out-of-shape to play in the church softball league. Your competitors are not allowed to hinder you, as they are in other sports. Why didnt the golfer finish his homework? had to choose, right ? 4. Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting. Instead of worrying about making a fool of yourself in front of a crowd of 4 or 40,000, forget about how your swing may look and concentrate instead on where you want the ball to go. I was actually enjoying it. He was perfecting his swing. Go Premium to get full access to our most advanced on-course and improvement features. Confidence is the most important single factor in this game, and no matter how great your natural talent, there is only one way to obtain and sustain it: work. Jack Nicklaus, 3. He couldnt stop puttzing around! Laugh more: Amusing Jokes To Tell Your Friends, What do you call a lion playing golf? Michael Connelly, The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. Even though youre a little ashamed of what you have done, you know you will do it again. Robert Fuller Murray, The uglier a mans legs are, the better he plays golf. Weve all been humbled by this game and have learned that a sense of humor can be the most important club in the bag. A man and his friend meet at the clubhouse to play a round of golf together. Jack Lemmon, a true comedian on and off the course. Full Text: Thank you for still being my friend even though I only talk about my horse and I smell like a barn. I never prayed that I would make a putt. Bye Bye Birdie. It bends a little to the left. Hitting the ball well is about thirty percent of it. I am a Musician. Mulligans are the reason golf balls come three to a sleeve. A golf ball can be driven 300 yards. Whats the difference between the g-spot and a golf ball? Kurt Philip Behm, Golf is an ideal diversion but a ruinous disease. I had a hole in nothing. I love the contrast between the agony of a golfer bleeding out and the ecstasy of a moment of creative genius. There is no such thing as a natural touch. Why don't golfers in England work in the afternoon? It keeps you young. Patty Berg, 29. I have 17 wives, one more and I will have a golf course!. Dirty Quotes For Him "You can stay but your clothes must go." "Let's make love, then have a h0t dirty time." "I promise to always be by your side. Bring some friends, and we can play a foursome. I'm Tiger Woods. Are you looking for some funny jokes? "Golf is the closest game to the game we call life. Siegfried Sassoon, Golf is the infallible test. Theres enough stress in the rest of your life not to let bad shots ruin a game youre supposed to enjoy. Amy Alcott, 15. "I'm in my bed you're in your bed ". Joe Posnanski, Over the years, Ive studied the habits of golfers. Top Ten Golf Phrases That Sound Dirty But Aren't: 10. At the golf corpse! You get bad breaks from good shots, good breaks from bad shots - but you have to play where it lies." Bobby Jones 23. If you can smoke and drink while youre doin it, its not a sport. Golf Club Distance & Driving Distances for Women Golfers, Providing a Community & Womens Golf Resources, How to Build Consistency in Your Golf Game, Golf is Hard. When your golf cart capsizes. Another Ball in the Trees. Is the word spelled P-U-T or P-U-T-T? She asked her instructor. The Dalai Lama himself. Joey Adams, A well-hit golf shot is a feeling that goes up the shaft, right through your hands, and into your heart. How many does he do?, Man: Well, that depends on how hard I kick him in the ass.. Full Text: The Most Important Things In Life Aren't Things Features: Size: 7x36 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging. Gone golfin' be back dark thirty. "While playing golf today I hit two good balls. 1. One minute youre bleeding. A bad attitude is worse than a bad swing. Payne Stewart, 48. but I can show you what is! The next minute youre hemorrhaging. Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers , Now, enough talking, lets swing this thing. Were done with golf puns and jokes, but well leave you with a bonus the top 10 not actually dirty golf innuendos: What are some of your favorite golf puns? Spice things up with these dirty golf jokes. Don't worry to do dirty jobs. Brent Musberger, If you break 100, watch your golf. It's included here because of the hilarious mental image it evokes. I've been playing golf all day and would love to make you my 19th hoe. Think the shot through in advance before you address the ball. Golf is very much like a love affair. I know what to look for. Golf Skirts & Golf Skorts Stylish, Fun & Comfortable. He sat down next to a beautiful blonde. I like big putts and I cannot lie. "One of the reasons Arnie Palmer is playing so well is that, before each final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. -Bob Hope Pick your favorite one from more than 86 quotes about funny golf with images and use it wherever you like. What is a golfers favorite bird? The reason most politicians are golfers is that they lie better with more practice & experience. Robert Fuller Murray, I am relying on the theory that playing golf is just like riding a bike and that I havent forgotten how. Sick of the same tired old golf puns and gags? The actor's quote relays an essential truth: Even the most mild-mannered golfer tends to lose his head when he sees or suspects someone else has hit or picked up his golf ball. Where is the best place to go on vacation? Why dont grasshoppers play golf? This post may contain affiliate links. His comment gets at a few things: the wondrous and fascinating aspects of the game and its tendency to make bold-faced liars of its participants. What is the difference between a fisherman and a golfer? Furthermore, the old man moves along without wasting any time. - Mickey Mantle. -Lee Trevino Why are there 18 holes on a golf course? Mark Twain, The average golfer doesnt play golf. Id cry too if I played golf like you.

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